• Alina Cebula

10 Reasons not to date a Landscape Photographer

1. Say goodbye to good night’s sleep Landscape photographers love the golden hour, and with that, comes the compromise of sleeping time. Even if you don’t join them on their pre-sunrise light chase, you will still be woken up at 3 am regularly by the sound of the kettle.

2. Forget about savings Photography is a money-eating sinkhole. Lenses, tripods, filters, spare bodies, batteries, memory cards, outdoor clothing, camping gear, travel expenses and the expensive automatic trigger that catches lightning bolts are all necessities that a landscape photographer just can’t go without! Remember that lovely sofa you were saving for, for your living room? Forget about it! And about any other unnecessary expenses, because their working tools are more important than a new tv.

3. Don’t count on a romantic holiday or any holiday… The minute you decide to spend a lovely week abroad together is the minute your photographers' mind will go crazy with all the new opportunities for once in their lifetime landscape photographs. It is guaranteed that your holiday will turn into a week worth of running around at sunrises and sunsets, doing ridiculously long hikes at 4 am, with zero energy to do anything else during the day. All of your luggage will be filled with photography gear, so forget about buying holiday souvenirs. And if that’s not enough, wait until in the evening they will spend hours going through the images. By the way – you are likely to have to review them all as well. Think this one through because it will be a week of hard work!

4. Get used to carrying heavy loads for hours! Remember the big list of necessary things landscape photographer needs to own? Well, somebody needs to help to carry all of these things up the mountain, and since you’re already there… But don’t worry! Next on the list of things to buy is the lightweight tripod and the super compact lens.

5. Romantic moments by sunset will be non-existing Sunset time is working time for every landscape photographer, there are no negotiations to be done here. Even if you somehow force them to spend some time with you on that beach you always wanted to go to, their mind will be absent - figuring out what WOULD be the best composition if they only had their camera with them… It’s a lost battle.  

6. Prepare to be lonely If you don’t share the unconditional love for the outdoors with your partner, it’s a given that you will spend a lot of time apart. Landscape photography takes a huge amount of time and effort. Even if they are back home, it’s likely that they will be sleeping due to their 2 am start. Evenings will be for editing images and planning their next social media content while analysing other photographers’ images. So, if you want to do an evening trip to the movies, you better put it in their calendar in advance…

7. You will continuously get dragged out to see ‘beautiful’ places Have you had plans to spend a quiet evening by the fire, reading your favourite book, or playing that game you’ve wanted to play for weeks, while it’s pouring outside? Not going to happen, because there is this amazing woodland, beach or mountain that your photographer will beg you to explore with them to ‘spend time together’. In reality, you will be left behind if you don’t walk fast enough, and when you catch up to them, your job will be to hold and shelter the filters and lenses. Next, you will stand there for 2 hours, soaking wet waiting for this cloud to move, the wind to drop or until the camera finishes recording that time-lapse.

8. You will have absolutely 0 free space for your things Your bedroom is likely to be filled with a number of backpacks – each for a different purpose, a billion of coats, boots, and waterproofs. There needs to be a dust-free space for multiple lenses, cameras, tripods, and filters. Add a huge computer and a printer and your bedroom will quickly look more like an office. It won’t be long until you’ll think of upgrading your house to one with an extra bedroom.

9. Your life will be dependent on the weather The thing that landscape photographers value the most is interesting weather conditions. It doesn’t matter if it’s your anniversary (which, to be fair, you’re quite likely going to spend hiking anyway!), a family dinner or your car is due to be serviced. If the weather conditions are unique, you will find your partner begging you to let them out. Reasoning that it’s something they have been trying to capture for months and another event like this won’t happen again! This will be a frequent thing that you will need to get used to. First snow, bluebells in perfect conditions, enormous waves, shooting stars, poppy fields, beautiful autumnal colours in the evening sunshine, fields full of heather and so on and so forth…

Those days when storms Freya, Ali or Callum hit the UK and all you want to do is curl up in bed with hot tea, will likely be the days that you walk back and forth across your living room worrying about your second half. You know that your partner has the tendency to put themselves in danger in order to capture that unique shot, so knowing that the waves are 10 meters tall and he/she is at the beach will leave you more than unsettled. 

10. Forget about eating at normal times. Your dinner will have to wait until after sunset, which most of the time will be after 8 pm and who has the energy to cook at this time? Pizza will be the go-to meal more often than you’d think! Same goes for breakfast, which is most likely to be skipped altogether. With outdoor photographers, get used to cooking and eating alone, eating squished sandwiches – because you are spending the day hiking (again!) or eating at ridiculous times.

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